We'll Miss you Grandpa Joy!

This morning we lost one of the best guys I know. I didn't think I would have such a hard time because we knew it was coming and I kept thinking it would be easier because it wasn't "MY" grandpa. Well, I was wrong. I did consider him to be MY grandpa all the same. I found a few poems that I was going to be putting on Facebook, but I didn't want to overload with the status updates. I can put all the poems on here that I want. :)

The Day God Called You Home

Anonymous

God looked around His garden,

And He found an empty place.

He then looked down upon this Earth,

And saw your tired face.

He put His arms around you,

And lifted you to rest.

God's garden must be beautiful,

He always takes the best.

He knew you were suffering.

He knew you were in pain.

he knew that you would never,

Get well on Earth again.

He saw that the road was getting rough,

And the hills were hard to climb,

So He closed your weary eyelids

And whispered, "Peace be Thine."

It broke our hearts to lose you,

But you didn't go alone.

For part of us went with you,

The day God called you home.

The Party Had Begun

Anonymous

I'm sorry for the emptiness you feel in your heart today,

but it's hard for the inner child when her dad must go away.

Although she's safe in Jesus care, it's the little girl inside

who still cries a lonely tear and asks Jesus why he died.

Our Father loves you so much, but the party had begun.

Without the guest of honor there, it wouldn't be any fun.

God sent him here to raise his kids and to touch so many hearts.

Then He let you keep his memory near so you'd never be apart.

In time God will unite you and although he had to go,

I'll bet he saves a piece of cake if he's like the dad's I know.

Memories Live Forever

Anonymous

It's hard to say good-bye to someone that you love,

although you now the're safe

with Jesus up above.

It doesn't make a difference if they're in their later years.

It only means more memories

to carry through the tears.

Don't let your selves forget, we each have numbered days.

For reasons that we do not know

God wanted it this way.

Tears wash away the pain, but it can't remove the love.

The memories live forever safe

in God's hands above.

I sure do love Grandpa Joy and will miss him dearly. Family functions won't be the same without him, but I'm sure we'll continue to share memories and laugh as though he was with us.

On a side note: This morning as I was telling Kadence that she would have a substitute because Grandpa Joy died (which meant Barb wouldn't go since it is her dad) she looked up at me with the most devastated face and two single tears fell down her cheeks. It was so heartbreaking. But he was honestly loved by all who knew him.

Crazy Hair Day

A few weeks ago it was Spirit Week at Kadence's school. I try really hard to make sure the kids participate so they aren't disappointed when they are the few who didn't participate. I kind of forgot about crazy hair day until the morning of so I didn't get too crazy. I put in a few pony tails and found some remnant red hair spray from Halloween. Kadence was super excited when she left for school. When she got home her hair was still in perfect shape....WHAT?! She always comes home looking like I let her roll out of bed and head to school. Her hair is a constant mess and the one time its supposed to be silly, its in perfect shape. Go figure. I asked if people liked her hair and she said, "Mom, someone told me my hair was beautiful." She was pretty upset about it. I'm sure she just hasn't learned sarcasm yet. :)

More Health Update

Ok, we got the results of my echo cardiogram and there wasn't anything wrong besides what we already knew. AWESOME!

Also, I was able to go see the endocrinologist. He was very thorough and asked a lot of questions. I told him my TSH level was at 0 and he didn't really seem too bothered by it. I was confused because that had my family dr pretty concerned. I figured he was the specialist so he knew better. After molesting my throat he found that my thyroid was about 50-60% and was firm. Because of this he is thinking that I might have Graves disease. Graves disease isn't curable, but you can treat the different symptoms. It can cause skin problems, eye problems, thyroid problems, and has also been known to cause mental problems. The only way to know is to do an iodine uptake scan. Also, in order to treat the thyroid problem I have 3 options. I can take medicine, I can do iodine radiation to kill the thyroid and then take thyroid hormone pills, or I can have my thyroid removed and take thyroid hormone pills. There are downs to all of them. The medicine makes me super sick, after the iodine radiation I can't go near any children, pregnant women, or breastfeeding woman. I can't even use the same bathroom. So that has its obvious downs considering I would be banished to the basement for up to a week. And then surgery has its normal risks. In order to do the iodine treatment or surgery, my dr wants an iodine uptake test done which is great since he wanted one anyways. The downfall to this is that we can't treat the thyroid with any option until its complete. We didn't schedule the uptake, just took blood.

Today the Dr office called and the lady seemed a little panicky and like it was urgent on her VM message. When I called back she told me that I "was quite hyperthyroid" and that I would need to start a medicine to lower my heart rate immediately. (That's what I was expecting when I went in, but I guess they needed the lab results before they believed me) They also scheduled my iodine uptake which means I get to go on a super fun diet that is low in iodine. Basically no milk, eggs, soy, most salt, red dye #3 and low on the meats and grains. I won't have to continue this long, just a week. I am happy that I can drink soda and also eat skittles. :) I'll keep everyone posted on my results and also which treatment I choose.

Little Bit Of A Health Update...

Ok, so I'm not trying to be super dramatic or whiny and complain but I have been having a few health issues lately that ended up leading me to the Dr. For quite some time now I have had chest pain. I basically have just ignored it because it only lasts for a little while and then it leaves and its like it never happened. (Really responsible, I know.) I didn't even tell David half the time it happened. THEN, as I tried to go to the gym to improve my overall health I realized that instead of making me feel better, it made me feel really really tired and just not good. I then realized that every time that I went on the elliptical my heart would just go CRAZY. After about 2 minutes on level one, my heart rate would jump to 180 and sometimes higher. Considering that a cardio heart rate for me is between 150 and 160, that is way too high. It took me a few weeks before coming to terms with the fact that something must be wrong. (I try to just ignore things as long as I can) Then it took me another 2 weeks before I actually made an appointment with the Dr.

During this 'waiting' period, I tried to think of all the things it could be. After giving birth to Kadence, my blood pressure sky rocketed. (I had postpartum toxemia.) While I was at U of U, they determined that it had damaged my heart valve. So when I have chest pains my first thought goes to that. Maybe it is getting worse faster than they thought, etc. My second thought was about my thyroid. After giving birth to Shelby I developed postpartum hyperthyroidism. This usually only lasts about 12-18 months. I had blood work done a few times and it showed that after 18 months my thyroid did indeed figure itself out so we figured I was in the clear. With hyperthyroidism, your entire body basically is in overdrive. Everything works harder and faster than normal. So knowing both of these facts I figured that it for sure had to deal with one of these two things.

While I was at the Dr telling her all my symptoms and explaining everything she seemed to think that it was all because of anxiety. I have anxiety which can be quite severe at times and I personally KNEW that it wasn't because of anxiety. She wanted to be sure because, well....we're dealing with chest pains. She did an EKG in the office which came back looking great. Side note...Shelby was with me and started getting really concerned as they hooked me up to the machine. She said "I sure hope you are ok mommy." It just about broke my heart. I then went to get a chest xray to see if my heart was enlarged. While I did, another xray tech had to 'babysit' Shelby since they don't allow any extra bodies in their xray rooms. (I was a tad stressed at this point) Then I went and got a full set of labs done. Again, Shelby was pretty freaked out watching them do tests on her mommy. My xray came back and looked great. They scheduled an echo cardiogram for 3 days later and sent me home to wait for my lab results.

My lab results came back 2 days later and showed that I definitely have hyperthyroidism again. I asked what my TSH level was and the lady said, "Well, it came back as a zero." WHAT?! Last time when it was .07ish they were freaked because it was so low but to know that it was at zero made me panic a little. (Normal range is .3 to 3) After the Dr saw that she wanted me to immediately have a thyroid ultrasound to see if there was an underlying problem. So the following day I had a thyroid ultrasound and my echo cardiogram. I won't know the results until tomorrow or Wednesday, but I'm hoping everything else turns out great. I can't meet with the endocrinologist until April 19th which has me a little concerned. As it is, my heart is constantly racing and is over the 'resting heart rate' threshold pretty constantly while I rest. Having such a low TSH for a long time can ultimately cause heart failure due to the heart having to work so hard. I'm going to be calling the Dr and seeing if they can put me on meds before the 19th considering that is a month and a half away. I am pretty constantly nauseous from my constant increased heart rate and heart palpitations, I get dizzy, I'm exhausted constantly, I have chest pain, and I am really restless. I'm hoping to get it all figured out soon so I can go back to being a better mom and wife. (This all has me pretty cranky and down right bitchy!)