Confessions

I CONFESS.....I hate physical touch almost always, but can't get enough hugs and snuggles from my girls.  (And of course physical touch from David is fine by me!) I love when the girls squeeze me tight and don't let go.  I love when they climb into my lap.  I love that they kiss and appreciate that they kiss me on my cheek.  I love that Shelby loves holding my hand and hates letting go.  I love love love when they are close. 

I CONFESS.....Walking around the house naked is liberating.  I rarely shower at home alone but had the opportunity to do so the other day.  Afterwards I waltzed around for a minute getting a drink, grabbing some lotion, etc.  I will be the first to tell you that I dislike the sight of my body naked.  I hate the thought of people seeing my loose skinned belly, my stretch marks galore, etc.  For some reason those things didn't bother me while being alone.  It was almost like I was able to find a tiny bit of comfort in my body that I have grown a strong dislike for.  It was good and almost therapeutic.  I highly recommend you find  way to do the same!

I CONFESS....I have an amazing husband.  He stretches himself so thin and is always super busy.  If it isn't work or school its trying to keep up with the kids.  No matter what he is always willing to drop anything he needs to in order to be with family when needed.  I have never had to be alone when I truly needed him.  He has goals which are lofty, but I know he has his priorities straight.  He knows that the girls and I are more important than his goals.  We of course will never try to hinder him from them.....well most of them.  I love that man of mine and wonder how I got so lucky. 

I CONFESS....I get pregnant hungry.  Is that strange?  I HATED being pregnant.  I didn't just have rough pregnancies, I had miserable miserable pregnancies.  Passing out often, being constantly dizzy, the incredible pain as my daughters head was lodged into my ribcage causing nerve damage, etc. No matter how hard mine were, I have seen some ladies close to me go through much worse.  Why the heck would I want that?  I have no freakin clue!  I can snuggle a baby and not get baby hungry.  I have gotten past that part.  I just still wish I could carry a baby.  I wish that I could deliver a baby naturally vs cesarean.  I think I can do it and I will always wonder if I could.  There's no way to live vicariously through a pregnant woman.  I can snuggle someones baby, let them spit on me, rock them to sleep, kiss them like crazy, watch them grow and learn, delight in the new milestones, and so on.  I can do all that.  I just can't be pregnant for a minute and for some reason, some terrible crazy reason, I wish that I could.