Confessional

I CONFESS....I am an over eater.  I have been trying to lose a few pounds and tone my body and I am realizing that my biggest problem is the fact that I can't go 15 minutes without eating something.  While blogging today I have had 2 packages of smarties and a few handfuls of skittles.  I just always feel the need to eat and I don't eat healthy things, of course it is always crap.  I've been getting better at night and have stopped eating for 3 hours straight before bedtime, but I still have a long way to go.  My goal is to get to where I only eat when I am hungry and only snack once or twice a day....we'll see.

I CONFESS....It drives me crazy when people tell me "you don't need to lose weight" or "you don't need to watch what you eat."  Yes, I do need to lose weight.  I have gained 20 pounds in less than 2 years and the number just keeps climbing.  I am not going to starve myself....mostly because I love to eat.  I am not going to purge.....because I am terrified of throwing up.  I will do it in a healthy way.  I don't think you should ever discourage anyone from trying to become a little more healthy.  I need to exercise to stay healthy, I don't see where the problem is.  I should be setting a good example for my girls on how to take care of your body and I don't see anything wrong with it so please stop discouraging me from becoming healthier.  I need encouragement just as much as anyone else on a weight loss journey.

I CONFESS....I am really excited to move.   I will miss a few neighbors and some close friends but I am only going to be 40 minutes away.  I know that I can visit and I'm thrilled to have lunch/dinner dates frequently.  (Again, I LOVE to eat)  I just think it will be great to be more on our own.  We live within 25 minutes of over 10 different family members.  I have loved being close and having such a great support but I also think we will learn a lot from being further away.  It will be a great experience for our family.  I'm also excited that we will be closer to the end of our college journeys.  I should get my Bachelors in 3 years and David should have his Doctorate in 3-4 years.  It is so exciting to me that in 4 years we might both be done with school.  Our girls will be 9-11 years old when we graduate and I'm glad that they will be old enough to remember seeing us accomplish our goals.  I ultimately went to school to set a good example for them.  I hate school.  I literally hate every part of school....unless it is a class for my major.  I have always told David that I will never attend college.  He was fine with it and understood and was beyond shocked when I decided to go to school.  I want my girls to know how important education is and I want them to be proud of their mommy.

I CONFESS...I am really excited for this summer.  We will have a lot of time together as a family which I love.  We are going to spend a lot of time camping, hiking, fishing and picnicking.  I want to cram as much family time in as we can before we get insanely busy again.  David will be very occupied with his school work so we won't get a lot of time with him for the next 3-4 years except during the summer.  Sure, we'll see him but not as much as we're used to.  I'm excited to try and cram all of the summers from now until the end of his doctorate FULL of family fun.