Wordy Wednesday on Thursday

David's cousin does a Wordy Wednesday post every Wednesday. She has a word prompt and journals from the prompt. I know I'm a day late, but I'm going to try to do her Wordy Wednesday post every week. This week her prompt was 'Mind Swap.' If I switched minds with someone for just a day who would it be?

I thought this over for a while and I had a lot of ideas come to mind. At first I thought maybe I would want to know what David is thinking. He isn't very good at verbalizing his emotions because he is afraid of hurting my feelings. He would rather just struggle inside and get over it than solve it together. I then quickly realized how dangerous it would be for me to know his raw, in the moment thoughts. I think I'll pass on knowing exactly what he's thinking at all times. We've made it very happily for 7 years communicating the way we do, so I'll just stick with what we're doing.

Then after more consideration, I decided I would love to be in the minds of my children. I couldn't pick just one and want to know their thoughts for different reasons.

Kadence:

I would love to know how exactly she can be SUCH a happy little girl. I want to know what gets her excited, which actually seems to be almost everything. If I'm putting away laundry she'll tell me in the sweetest little voice, "Thank you mommy for cleaning my shirts." How can she be so grateful at such a young age? I thought she was supposed to have "Mine" syndrome. She honestly appreciates everything in life. She loves to wake up in the morning, loves going to bed, gets excited about hugs and kisses, gets excited about visitors, loves everyone with the most unconditional love of anyone I know, cares about everyone and everything, and is the happiest most content person I've ever met. I want to know what goes through her head when she overcomes her trials. How did she feel when she was able to bend and pick a toy off the floor for the first time while in a cast? What does she feel when we tell her to go with the doctor and he will take good care of her? She must be nervous, yet she puts 100% trust in our advice and in the doctors and nurses. Is she scared when she wakes up from anesthesia? Does the cast hurt? Does the cast make everyday tasks more difficult or does she just get used to it? Then I thought about her hospitalizations due to illnesses and remember how fed up David and I get with being in the hospital for so long. How would it feel to be her? She's sick, away from her bed, away from her sister, and she doesn't even get to leave the room. Not to mention she doesn't get the same foods as normal. I also want to know if she remembers anything from her first month of life. I know she probably doesn't, but sometimes I wonder. Does she remember all her visitors coming when mommy couldn't? Does she remember being held the first time? Does she remember the morphine withdrawals, or the pain? Does she remember dying? How can she lead such a stressful life, yet have so much love for living? I think everyone who knows Kadence knows how inspiring she is, and I try everyday to be a little more like her.

Shelby:

I often wonder what Shelby is thinking. She is such a curious little girl. She wants to know how and why things work and definitely tries to figure it out. She can sit down with a few toys and play for hours at a time. She babbles and squeals as she moves the toys from one place to another as she plays out a story in her head. She has such a great imagination. She also has such a stubborn personality. What is she thinking when she tells me, "I don't want to..." multiple times a day? She never gets away with it, but still continues to say it. It almost makes me laugh now. She is very opinionated, and wants things in a particular place or a specific way. She won't settle until it is just perfect. She loves to snuggle with me, and I wish I knew what she was thinking as she did it. Is she able to feel my love and protection? She loves everything in nature....except the bugs! She is terrified of bugs, yet so fascinated by leaves, dirt, grass, trees, mountains, etc. She will carry a leaf around for hours and if it gets the tiniest little rip in it, she gets the most brokenhearted face. She's a very smart girl and is learning very quickly. She loves her sister SO much, and I wish I knew what she was thinking when a precious hug turned into a full out tackle! It's funny until Kadence starts crying. She waits for the second Kadence wakes up and runs in and yells, "GOOD MORNING!" She loves her sister and can't stand to be apart from her. I wish I knew what she was thinking as she anxiously awaited her sisters arrival! I also want to know what goes through her mind when we take Kadence to the Dr. Does she feel abandoned? We drop her off at a very loving grandma and grandpas house which has 2 great uncles to help out, but I know she misses us. She will even go from room to room calling for us. I wonder if she gets nervous that we won't be coming back. I also want to know if during the Dr visits she knows without a doubt that we love her just as much as her big sister. She is sacrificing so much of her mommy/daddy/Kadence time in order for her sister to get the help she needs. I especially wonder if she is nervous when Kadence is rushed to the ER and she is taken in a hurry to grandma and grandpas house. It all happens so fast that sometimes she barely gets a goodbye before we rush out the door. I hope she doesn't one day resent Kadence or us for having to leave her so often. I wish I could be in the mind of Shelby because she is such a fun, adventurous, spontaneous, creative little girl who also has such a love of living...she just lives a little more on the edge than her sister. Either way I love both girls SO much and am so grateful God trusted me with them.