Truth...

For fear of becoming one of those blogs that only highlights all the amazing and fantastic things I do with my family, I figured it was time for a dose of truth on my blog.  Yes, I have just posted some fabulous things that my family has done recently and honestly my family LOVES doing tons of things together.  From movies to hiking, from cooking together to snuggling on the couch we love spending time together.  It doesn't matter what we do or what it costs we just like the time together.  The girls enjoy it and get excited when we declare we are going to have an adventure no matter what the adventure is.  (Honestly it has been grocery shopping and they get just as excited as camping or fishing)  That is the truth, but that doesn't help anyone else see the reality of my imperfections.  We do a lot together, but I am not the "perfect super mom".  I am actually very far from it.  While writing those last two sentences I actually stopped to get mad at Shelby.  For what?  Putting her feet all over the wall and chair.  Is this life threatening....NO!  Is this damaging to anything....NO!  I just simply get cranky.  I usually get super cranky every Sunday while getting ready for church and this week was actually an exception which came as a shock to me.  We were off to church and all in good moods.  During church some things happened which frustrated me and happen often.  I then took my frustrations out on my girls.  If they wiggled I gave a stern look, if they played with their pretzels I took them away.  I am not proud of any of this, I am just hoping that one mom reads this and realizes that they are not alone and they are NOT a bad mom.  We came home and changed and ate some mac and cheese which was from a box (which is the only mac and cheese I ever cook).  We didn't have any fruit or vegetables...this was far from a healthy meal.  I didn't even go as far as doing the "healthy" option for making the mac and cheese.  The more butter the better in my opinion. After eating the girls played and I sat on the couch.  Every now and again I would ask them to calm down because they would get too rowdy.  I did eventually raise my voice and put them in time out because the constant rowdiness just simply aggravated me.  I have my cranky days as I'm sure all moms do.  The problem is that nobody shares their cranky, embarrassing days and so when we have them we feel inadequate.  I know that for a long time I felt that I was a bad mom because I didn't make all my meals from scratch.  The fact of the matter is, my kids are fed and that is enough.  Being a mom is tough and nobody is perfect.  I have great days where nothing really bothers me and we giggle and laugh all day long.  I have my days when we are so busy running from here to there that I forget to do homework.  I have days where I don't clean the house because I simply don't want to and don't have the energy to even think about it.  I have days when I try to plan the perfect adventure for my girls so that I can selfishly see their smiles.  I have days when I feel like I should be like all the other moms.  (but I am not a mom to THEIR kids)  I have days when I feel like a terrible mom because I get frustrated over trivial things.  I have yelled when it was unnecessary.  I have scolded when it wasn't needed.  I have failed to see their intent and looked past it only to feel bad later when I realized it.  I am not proud of my actions all the time but I am proud of this: I love my kids.  I often feel like I love my kids more than anybody else could possibly love theirs.  I know my kids know that I love them.  They never have to question it.  They are happy and they are thriving.  They are taken care of and they don't have the same fears and insecurities of some of their peers who live in a home where love isn't the main emotion.  They are lucky to have me despite all of my insecurities and imperfections.  I love them.....I TRULY love them.  There isn't anything that I wouldn't do to see them smile.  I take notice of my imperfections in order to better myself and better our relationship.  I hope that everyone who reads this knows that their children are lucky to have them.  You are amazing!  You are doing the best you can which is all any of us can do. Hug them, love them, listen to them always....beyond that just do the best you can to survive this thing we call parenting and enjoy the ride!